That's Snow Weekend Part One
by batman100
Summary: It seemed like a typical day at the X-Mansion on the week before Christmas...until HYDRA stopped by for a visit. The X-Men act heroically, all unaware of the BIG surprise Madame Hydra has in store for them.


**That's Snow Weekend: Part One**

"_Deck the halls with parts of Charlie, fa-la-la,la-la-la. Make the yuletide gross and gnarly, fa-la-la, la-la-la._" Kurt sang, cackling maniacally as he hung up the wreaths while the X-Crew watched, flabbergasted by Kurt's performance

"Er…encore." Jean replied, making a forced smile nervously, appalled by the lyrics

"Kurt, where in the *hell* did you learn lyrics like that? That was not what I call Christmas music by any means! When in the bloody hell do you deck the halls with parts of Charlie, fa-la-la-la…oh crap! Now you got *me* doing it!" Rogue growled in annoyance, slapping her forehead

"_We wish you'd bury the Missus, we'd wish you bury the Missus, we'd wish you bury the Missus…_" Remy droned drunkenly, staggering into the TV room carrying an overflowing bottle of vodka

"Uh, Mr. Bing Crosby wannabe? Your champagne is dripping." Rogue snorted sarcastically as Remy foolhardily ignored the suggestion and drank some more

"Great, while Mr. Cards n' Booze is getting himself inebriated, we're being entertained by Mr. Awful Christmas Song Guy over here." Logan snorted, directing to Kurt's attention

"Logan…You just don't get it do you?" Kurt asked with a sly grin

"Getting what, you blue fuzzball? The hell you trying to do, pull off some stupid speech from Masterpiece Theatre?" Logan snarled in annoyance

"Hey heh Gus. Lookit how my smackledorf is posed." Remy blubbered, his vodka dangling on his head while balancing it with a goofy smile on his face

"I remember seeing a certain Christmas special last December…" Kurt started, having that far-off look in his eyes again

"Oh god, not *that* again…" Rogue muttered

"Seriously Kurt, since when did *you* learn holiday values listening to some crappy vegetables?" Logan barked, lighting his cigar before Jean shoved him off the couch

"I think that's enough of that language for today, mister." Jean growled before pleasantly turning to Kurt "May I?" she asked

"Be my guest." Kurt answered before dimming all the lights, except for the one where Jean was positioned

"Now…you guys may *think* Christmas is all about Santa, and toys, and reindeer and all that. Well, that's only the *fun* stuff about it. The *real* meaning of Christmas is a child born in a manger in Bethlehem, wearing rags and lying on a stack of hay. Erm, the point I'm trying to make is…Christmas is *not* about getting, it's about *giving*. About gifts. And that particular gift…was Jesus. And that is what I think is the best gift of all." Jean stated, finishing her speech

"Jean…that was beautiful. It's…so touching." Rogue sniffled joyfully

"Hey now, I did see it several times growing up as well." Jean grinned, as the X-Gang gave thunderous applause

"That was awesome! Bravo! Bravo!" Lance cheered proudly

"That was very thoughtful Jean. You sure know your Bible history." Scott smiled, giving his wife a loving kiss

"That was…good. But that's still no excuse for that lousy Christmas song, either!" Logan remarked, having reverted to his grouchy state

"Wait a second…Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas?" Rogue asked in astonishment, reading the cover of the CD

"You just had to let him buy that Tales from the Crypt CD from the mall, didn't you *Scott*?" Logan glared at Scott, who was amused by Kurt's singing

"Now hold on Logan, let's not jump to conclusions…" Jean hesitated, defending Scott whilst avoiding incurring Logan's wrath

"Hey guys, now hold on. It turns out…oh *god in heaven*." Bobby gasped

"What? What is it?" Jean asked, rushing to him

"I…" Bobby started

"You what?" Logan asked hesitant

"I…" Bobby continued

"For God's sakes man, spill it before I lose my marbles!" Logan babbled

"Not very articulate there, mate." Pyro joked as Logan respectfully acknowledged

"I…think we're snowed in here." Bobby finally finished

There was a brief pause as Jean gave him a close look before saying "Come again?"

"I *said* I think we're snowed in here." Bobby repeated before sounds of a large avalanche erupted

"RRUMMBBLE!"

"Holy moly! Someone tell me what in the Sam Hill's going on here?" John asked, barging in, trying to hold his balance while Kitty did the same

"I don't think my weight will provide support." Peter moaned, having armored up just as the rumbles began

"I think I'm gonna puke." Jean moaned, turning green

"Ick! Last thing I need before Christmas is to be in the medical ward! That's worse as trying Kitty's fruitcake!" Rogue commented in disgust

"I heard that Ms. Food Critic!" Kitty snapped

"Oh god, now I think I'm gonna be even more sick." Jean heaved, trying to maintain the bile

"Scott, do something, for goodness sakes!" Rogue ordered as Scott was sprawled on the couch in a crumpled heap, right next to a snoozing Emma Frost

"Can't…Fell on…my keys." Scott moaned, yawning in emphasis

"Oh that's great. Rogue and Half Pint are shooting their mouths off again, Tin Man here's trying to pull his armored weight, Swamp Rat here's still intoxicated on booze, Red here looks like she's gonna barf all over me and her silly excuse for a husband is over there on the couch, snoozing with his maiden!" Logan snorted, banging his head on the wall

"GLAAAHH!" Jean retched, spewing out slime all over the floor

"Ugh! Gross! And all over my fur! Blecch!" Kurt gagged in disgust

"Oh that's disgusting." Peter moaned, holding his nose

"Pretty small talk for a guy who's supposed to be high and mighty." Logan snorted

"Uh…I need a…" Jean started before her eyes started to droop

"Oh boy, here comes Phase One of overcoming vomit." Logan snorted as Jean's speech became incoherent and in between snoring and muttering

"Can't…concen…trate." Jean moaned weakly, trying in vain to keep eyes open

"Jean look at me! Eyes on me!" Bobby ordered as Jean inched closer to dreamland

"Mmmm…" Jean smiled before her eyes started to shut

"Jean, come on, don't snooze on me now." Bobby stammered as Jean started to snore

"What the heck, hero? You call that a compassion scene? Pathetic." Logan barked as Jean eventually landed safely on the floor, sleeping peacefully

"So angelic…" Kitty whispered, stroking Jean's hair

"Yeah. All she needs now is a halo and some wings." Logan commented sarcastically

"Logan! Jean has had enough excitement for today. At least let her slumber peacefully." Peter noted, gently scooping up Jean as her hair dangled loosely

"Oh boy. That was some earthquake. If only something plot-advancing were to happen." Bobby stated before pausing and repeating "I *said*, if only…"

One plot-advanced scene later…

"Well…good news Jean's up and about. The bad news is we're still caved in here in the mansion." Logan noted, watching the Rams game before hearing sounds of gunfire in the woods nearby "The hell's going on?" before Scott burst in

"We got a call from Forge! He's pinned down by Hydra soldiers and he needs help! Now!" Scott ordered, loading his shotgun

"All right partner. Let's bust 'em." Logan barked, flexing his claws

Meanwhile…

"This is crazy. It's practically thirty feet below out here." Rogue whimpered, wearing her zebra-skinned winter coat

"Just stay tight. Once we find Forge and get the soldiers, everything's gonna be…" Scott started before a barrage of machine gun bullets whizzed through an oak tree."

"Ok?" Jean continued Scott's interrupted sentence before dodging a small missile

"Let's amscray! I got Forge!" Logan hollered, supporting Forge by his legs

"Move!" Scott ordered as the X-Gang scrambled through the woodlands for the mansion in breakneck speed

"This is like Egypt all over again, huh?" Scott asked Jean as they both leaped over a log

"Yep. But without Apocalypse." Jean commented, before shooting a Hydra sniper

"Nice shot." Scott commented, before blasting a Hydra jet with his visor

"Hydra scum!" Logan snarled, slicing a Hydra thug to ribbons with his claws before kneeing one in the groin

"Try and make *that* one limb take its place." Logan quipped before shooting a second one

Later…

"Ok, we're in the mansion. The soldiers seemed to have ditched us." Scott heaved in relief as the X-Gang were back at the mansion safe and sound

"Did you see that?" Bobby asked as he conveniently saw a missile fly right past the mansion and blasted a nearby greenhouse

"Those Hydra mooks never know when to quit, do they?" Logan grumbled

"I agree on that one, mate." Scott added, loading his handgun before heading up to the roof "Let's go gang!" He ordered as Kurt, Bobby, Jean, Logan and Peter followed in tow, guns locked and loaded

Out on the roof…

"What can you make of it, Warren?" Jean asked Warren on her comlink

"I can make out several Hydra gunmen surrounding the house parkway, a couple of mercenaries surrounding the yard…And they're all carrying machine guns." Warren noted

"Christ." Logan muttered, spitting on the ground before continuing "We're gonna have to distract them. Jean, you know what to do" he ordered as Jean got her sniper rifle in position

"Both eyes open…" Jean reminded herself as she opened fire…

"BLAM!"

"Schnell!" a Hydra sergeant ordered as gunmen opened fire on the roof

"Got at least *one* down…not sure about the rest." Jean added, dodging bullets

"We gotta think of something. Bobby, you're the guy who has the brains, think of an idea." Logan ordered

"Let me get this straight…You want *my* help?" Bobby asked in astonishment

"This is no time for jokes Bobby! Do something!" Scott ordered

Bobby paused and thought before he eventually gained a tank load of energy and heroically opened fire on the gatecrashers

"No one threatens the X-Men! You hear me, nobody?!" Bobby roared, giving a war holler

"Atta boy, Iceman!" Kurt cheered as Bobby took down targets aimlessly, all in all, not missing a single spot

"Soldiers! Fall back!" the sergeant ordered as they fled for their chopper

"They're getting away!" Jean hollered

"Not for long…" Bobby grinned, pushing a button on a mobile detonator

"KA_BLAMMMM!" The Hydra helicopter went up in blazes, as the gunmen respectfully dropped weapons and waved a white flag for surrender

"Ha ha ha! Who's the toughest team now?" Bobby laughed before making a triumphant yell

"Iceman! Iceman! Iceman!" The X-Gang chanted victoriously as Bobby made a heroic pose on the rooftop

"That was some weekend." Jean replied, heaving in relief after all the excitement

"I think this'll be a weekend we'll never forget." Bobby replied, smiling before Scott came up

"You did terrific. And there's someone who wants to see you." Scott noted, directing Bobby to a beautiful young woman waiting for him in the hallway

"That was most heroic of you Iceman…or Mr. Drake, I presume?" She asked. Bobby noted that the beautiful woman had long green hair, green highlights on her eyes, and wearing a gorgeous long green dress. Bobby also noted she also had a bump in her belly.

"Who are you?" Bobby asked suspiciously.

"Just call me…Madame Hydra." The young woman answered, with a trusting smile

"And what can we do for you?" Scott asked

"I wish to join the X-Men." Madame Hydra proposed. Scott paused, then walked over to her…and shook her hand trustfully

**Is this true? Will Hydra and the X-Men overcome their differences? Does this mean a new chapter? Is Iceman the father of Madame Hydra's unborn child? Stay tuned for Part 2 and find out! Be there…and be in for a major SHOCK!**


End file.
